...The inner self of viewer...

Alexander Volenski


This is the 'Cluster LINK' Center.

Volenski's page: The 'home site' to all pages/books/narratives.
Wilderness Expressions: The 'home site' of this series.
Wilderness Expressions tape-1/side-2: Tape-1 continued.
Wilderness Expressions tape 2: Business leaders, National leaders, World Peace.
Wilderness Expressions tape-2/side-2: Tape-2 continued.
Wilderness Expressions tape-11: Natural immortalities.
Wilderness Expressions tape-11/side-2: Tape-11 continued.
Wilderness Expressions tape-12: Prose/Poetry, expressions in the immediate.
Wilderness Expressions tape-12/side-2: Tape 12 continued.

Wilderness Expressions Tape-1

Wilderness Expressions, (P)1997 (C)1998 A. Alexander Volenski


Introduction Toward Wilderness Expressions

This tape is being made, recorded up here in the wilderness.
It's evening, it's dark, I have a nice fire going here, camped up on a mountain
ridge.  It's an easy location to drive too in the National Forest area of where
I live in the Pacific Northwest.

When I look 'east' the sky in the distance is kind of lit up a little, has a 
kind of glow to it, that would be where Port Angeles, Washington is...  As I 
look 'south' to southeast, the sky is lit up way in the distance, which would
probably be Seattle, or Olympia Washington.  Other than that...the 'moon' is in
back of me, it's in its first quarter going to half, it's almost on the western
horizon so I can't see it, but there is still some moonlight glowing across the
valley in front of me; it's very beautiful, very nice, and all the stars are out.

Tremendous...quite a view of the heavens...this time of the year is an excellent
time to be out if you have nice weather to do it.  In the southern sky is 'Jupiter,'
it's quite clear, quite bright.  Jupiter is to my right, because I'm facing east,
and to my left-up I can see the Big-Dipper, it's just sort of laying there like it
wants to be filled up.  And in a little while the 'Pleiades,' the seven sisters, 
will be coming up over the horizon in the east; that will be later on, probably a
couple more hours.  I don't have a constellation book close to me, and I'm not
really that schooled on it; I am and I'm not...

oooh!...there goes a shooting star!  Believe it or not, and it's heading 'south,'
it was slow, like a flare almost, it just came from like above me and just sort
of went right on down south; it just flared real nice; isn't that something to
record at this moment!

Anyway, the idea in back of this tape is to put some analogies down, some feelings
and expressions recorded in the wilderness, kind of to see what comes to my mind.

Earlier, about an hour ago, I played some of my other tapes, some nice music here.

There's a mountain ridge right in back of me, not to far, maybe 300yrds; it's
called 'Sore Thumb.'  Then right below it, is a little valley or canyon, it's
all forested, a very quiet peaceful place.

But I (also) feel a lot of sadness here for some reason, and I don't know why?  It
just sort of hit me all of a sudden as the sun went down.  In the sky, the few
clouds that were there turned bright red, and in the 'west' the clouds were kind of
a pink color; but I felt a lot of sadness.  I feel a lot of sadness here.  I don't
know if it's me, perhaps I'm in a sad mood or something for one reason or another.
I don't have any reason to be sad about anything, I think these feelings could have
a kind of spiritual kind of message; that's the impression that I had as I thought
about all that; because I really felt it deep; this sadness.

It's like when the music played; I played (some) the music up here, I have a pretty
good recording system with good speakers, so it sent the music out, kind of echoed
all across the valley; and actually the music which is at the beginning of this

What happened is, that I started getting 'empathic' feelings of 'emotion'; from a
very high spiritual level of the area here.  It's like...the reason I'm bringing
this up, and the reason I'm recording this now is because I think it's important
to get this kind of thing down.  I think a lot of people have these (same) kinds
of feelings now and then, and they just sort of...they aren't able to get their
feelings down.  I feel it's important and healthy to do this, extremely healthy.

What it does; it's something I can relate to later as I listen to this tape, and
at the same time if someone else listens to it, they can relate to the same kind
of a momentary thing.

The energy that I picked up on, within this spiritual line...is that there are
thousands of years of (active) memories here, of episodes and things, it's 
almost like...

Some of it probably has to do with the animals and things that are here also,
because animals have emotions and feelings just like humans do, I'm sure of it!
They have the same kind of happy feelings, sad feelings, melancholy feelings
perhaps, but this (sadness) is an intelligence level of sadness that is quite
developed; it's developed exceptionally high, at least that's the impression I have.

...When I come up into the wilderness like this and have an opportunity to be 
alone and to commune with nature; to try to get feelings of the Earth itself.
The Earth is so big and vast, and it has such a powerful energy content, if you
can get the feel of it, it's quite extensive.

I did some types of things tonight at sunset that I do, it's a spiritual kind
of exercise similar to what the Chinese do, a motion with the arms kind of thing;
like a dance with the hands and feet.

You can feel (with the dance)...I can feel these energies out here, because it's
just wilderness and everything is sort of pure and uncluttered; I can feel it
and draw it into myself when I do these exercises.

And what happens is, tonight it sent 'chills' right through me, it's unbelievable.
I mean they just came, they were tremendous, they went through my whole body, like
tingling; quite a sensation.  I just opened myself to it completely, and continued,
and the more I continued the more chills I got in my moves (with the dance).

About a half-hour after that, I started picking up these sad feelings.  It's 
feminine sadness, and also masculine sadness, it's both of them.  It's hard to 
get a visual image.  It seems as though there are more than one, more than just
a masculine and feminine energy in this sadness; there is a multitude of energy;
also of different age groups.  I get images of children and adults; not so
much old age, I don't get the old body, I get...

And this has always been this way while I've been up in the wilderness; the
spiritual imagery, telepathic, empathic type of imagery, are very rarely elderly.
There's a lot of children out here, children type spirits; but mostly adults.
They're always matured, but they aren't old, they're kind of at the (young)
maturity level, you understand what I mean.

Also understand another thing on this tape.  These tapes are not edited in any
way, what your hearing here is the immediate, the feelings, and I won't be
editing any of my tapes that are made this way.  These are like 'empathic
expressions, immediate channeling type of thing.  There isn't a dialogue
made that I read either.  These are all first thoughts; so realize I haven't
rehearsed this in any way.  Also please bear in mind as you listen to this
tape, some of the things being said are the moment; what' being recorded
is this instant-moment as I sit by the fire.

I have a nice fire-ring that's burning, and the 'Milky Way' is above me, sparkling.
It's completely unbelievable how in the city you can't see this, but when your
out here where there aren't any city lights, and your up high enough; the sky
is just chuck-full of billions and billons of stars.  I mean, they're reflecting
their light down here also; just like the moon, even though it's only a first-
quarter moon.  Both are sending out quite a bit of light (moon & stars);
everywhere you can see quite well.  It's really a beautiful moment...a beautiful

I think in our culture of the United States of America, with all the luxuries and
comforts that we have; it's to bad the structure of our economic system is
based upon such a stringent type of thing.  How many people are able to have a
vacation every year, and if they have one, do they have any money so they can
get out into the wilderness, I think a lot of time they don't even think about
getting out here; because it seems so foreign to them.  Especially like the large
metropolitan areas, New York City, or LA, and places like that...  There are
probably people there that have never been in the wilderness very much.  They're
really missing out on something here that they could tap-into and really utilize.

There's an energy content here that's not what your going to find in a city
with electrical wires grided all across it, over a mass area with a multitude
of radio signals transmitted 24hrs a day.  You got TV, the Internet System,
the phone system, all the radio AM-FM, short-wave, all the military signals,
all the ambulance, police, all the Government signals going back and forth,
the financial systems, money systems running up to the satellites and back.
I mean, just turn the scanner on in the city and what do you pick-up?  The
thing is blasting continuously, and then you have all the electrical lines.

Electricity sets up a huge grid of negative-ions, that's basically what it
feeds; that alternating current system.  They're not positive ions, I guarantee
you that.

...Up here I don't even pick up a radio or FM, I'm just sort of out of it
when it comes to that connection.  But what I end up getting is a natural
type of energy source which just feeds right in, it's unbelievable, and I
think our culture is missing this (natural) source that should be tapped into.

When you look at these last 75yrs, there isn't anything like it...there's
nothing compared to it in the last 7000yrs, with all this new technology.

One must realize that the body they have has had 7000yrs of an energy source
that is just from the planet; like I'm receiving here at this time while I'm
camped up here.  This energy source is what my body is used too, at least the
DNA structure that I have; you know, the body I have is born in this Century,
but the DNA structure I have, goes back 7000yrs probably, or longer.

What I'm saying is that that DNA structure was/is passed on from generation to
generation, and it has functioned within a certain type of energy content.  And
it's use to it (energy content), it knows how to communicate with it quite well.

I think a lot of people that have some kind of ailment or are sick, those things
(of sickness) in our culture are caused because our body can't connect to the
natural energy that it's use to connecting too.

Ya, it's...I'm sure in this analogy there will be a lot of people who will like
to debate what I'm talking about, because they're saying, "well, this modern
Medical Profession that we have, it can heal so many different things."  Of course,
I agree it can, but there's an area here in the 'natural world', that ah...

It's kind of curious, I had someone tell me about ten years ago, we were talking
about this very same thing; I was saying to them, "you know, when I go up in the
back-country and do backpacking, and hiking around, or go up and cut firewood for
a day; when I come home I feel so good, I mean, I'm tired from the work or the
hike...there's something about it, I just feel good."

And then the individual said to me, "you know, there's a lot of truth to what
your talking about because you've been out in the 'Wilderness'.  And then they
said, "there was a fella that was sick, the Doctor's told him that he had a
year or so to live, he had some kind of a Cancer or something.  So what that
man did, is that he quit his job and sold all his property, and everything he
had, and he came out here in the Pacific Northwest.  He was able back then to
buy some land, and he built a little house out in the country here, away-from-
it-all.  He figured he'd just spend the last year of his life here, sort of do
it that way."  And the fella that was telling me about this said, "you know,
the guy's still alive, and that was twenty years ago!"

He got real healthy all of a sudden out here, and this is what I'm saying, there's
something to all this; and I think it should be thought about at least by other
people.  That you can find a lot of good things out here, but there's also a lot
of sadness; at least I picked up a lot of sadness this evening.  It's kind of a
mixture, maybe it's not sadness, maybe it's melancholy, I don't know, and I 
wonder about it.

...Basically this area is mountainous so it's kind of rough terrain with tall
timber here and there where they haven't harvested; fir, hemlock, and cedar.

There were a lot of Ravens and Crows flying around this afternoon when I got
here, and then there was a nice Hawk that came in here, a Red-Tailed-Hawk.
No breeze today, it was just cool and without breeze and wind, and the sky...just
blue sky without clouds, and then this Hawk came in here; and he was below me,
well just about my (elevation) height.  Circling, looking down into the valley
below me on the 'south' side of the camp.  Fact is, the edge of the ridge here
is only about twenty feet from where I'm sitting; and it drops right down.  You
can hike down in there...

ooh!...there goes another 'shooting-star', same location as the last one.  That's
two from that particular spot, right there in the south.  Let's see, at about
1-o'clock, 2-o'clock, some where in there, that angle.

Anyway, the Hawk flew, just glided on the air-currents, and I grabbed my 
binoculars and was able to watch that bird for about 10min., well, I'm
exaggerating, maybe 5min., because he was here for quite awhile; he or she,
I don't know if it was male or female.  It just kept circling in a clockwise
arc this time, sometimes they go counter-clockwise, but this time I noticed
this one was going in a clockwise circle.

Just gliding, the wings just held, just like it was floating there, just floating,
and when the sun was shining on the Hawk, you could see right through the
feathers.  And when it turned, it sent different types of coloration.  It just
continued round and round, and finally what it did was glide around the side
of the peak of the mountain here, and went into the next valley which is 'west'
of me just over a ways; and drops into another valley.

...Ya, the Hawk was pretty-nice to watch, especially thru binoculars; and it
moved so slowly, real slow, looking here and there, and every now and then the
sky-blue was there (binocular-view) and then all of a sudden there would be
green from the foliage as it glided along, nice greens in the background, it
was really something.

...There aren't to many bugs flying around, there's a lot of 'termites' though,
this time of the year that's what they're doing, looking for a place to nest for
the winter; a new hatch.

Anyway, this sadness thing is probably a mixture of  the fact that I haven't been
able to be out here, and also the fact that in this area there is a lot of sadness.

Because, that sadness has to do with a lot of things that have to do with humanity
on this planet.  I think that a lot could be talked about in this particular area.
You know, as a person is listening to this tape, they're probably in a way sort
of...this tape is unique in this way.  It may sound like I'm not really saying much
of anything.  I'm just sort of talking about simple things, not much detail in
anything.  But what that does while your listening, it gives your mind a chance
to drift away and 'be free'.

...What I'm saying is, what I've found by listening to some of these tapes...5min
could go by and I couldn't tell exactly what I heard on the tape, but I sure had
a lot of thoughts running through my mind on something else, which was sort of

I think a lot of times, people get too caught into linguistic patterns and theme's
and everything.  That's why they like to listen to so much music.  Because you 
just sort of go with the rhythm, with the harmony.  And in most of the linguistic
patterns, a high percentage of them aren't very harmonious a lot of the times; at
least they aren't around me.

Most of the people that I come in contact with in my everyday activities, don't
have a high percentage of harmony; some individuals do though, there are some
individuals who are very harmonious to be around.  But there are a tremendous
amount of individuals that are completely negative, and it shoots down...

That's why it's so nice to listen to some music.  And then some of the music
is kind of like not very harmonious either; and what happens is that that just
reinforces all that negative activity; that intake, that impute, that a person
picks up in their everyday activities.

Just driving through a city, you've got traffic, you've got to watch-out for
the other guy, so someone doesn't bang into you.  Then there are all the other
types of diversions.  You go to the restaurant and have lunch, or pick up 
something, or have an espresso somewhere.  Espresso seems to be about the
only thing you can really buy nowadays and feel good when you drink it.

Some of the restaurant food, one begins to wonder just exactly what they're
getting.  I'm not saying restaurant's are bad, I mean, I enjoy going out to
dinner a lot.  But a lot of people have been telling me also lately, "you know,
I got sick the other day, I don't know, maybe I've been eating out at restaurant's
to much?"

I mean, who knows?  And a lot of people don't even want to go to certain types
of restaurant's because they say the food isn't fresh!  So I don't know what to
tell you on that.

But anyway, what happens is that you've got all these negatives floating around
us all the time, and it makes life pretty difficult.  And that maybe...just by
listening to some individual like myself who has been able to...not because it
was easy for me to get up here.

It wasn't all that easy to leave, but I just had to go, and worry about covering 
my butt financially when I get back.  Basically that's what it comes down too.

And I'm not the only one, it seems like we're stuck on this financial thing;
you gotta be at the sweat-shop 40hrs a week whether you make any money or not.
I mean, most people have a nice pay-check, but where does it go...?

It goes here and there or somewhere else, they get very little left-over for
themselves.  And then they turn the TV on and what do they hear?  Some Multi-
Millionaire somewhere becomes a Billionaire.  I mean, christ-all-mighty they
start wondering; 'it sure would be nice to be in that situation,' or would it?

I mean what is that situation?  Why does one man need to have a billion-dollars,
I don't know why.  It seems to me a million-dollars would be more than sufficient
and even that much wouldn't be necessary.  But most of us have to struggle 
financially just to pay our monthly expenses.

So I broke away from it.  I just said, "that's it!, goodbye, I'm going..."

I'm going, I'm sick and tired just sitting here on my butt and not making any
money.  The last couple weeks have been real hard for me; I have a business of
my own, and I didn't make zilch.  It's lucky that I had an ace in the hole to
cover my monthly expenses; otherwise I would have been down and out.

But I just decided that I could sit here on my butt in town and not make any
money; I might just as well go...and whatever happens -- happens.

And that's why I'm up here, and it's well worth being here basically; and I
hope some of what I see...I'm also (now) looking up into this vast Universe
that we're all part of; that's where we came from...

At least that's what all the ancient legends and myths of the world say, that:
"the human came from out there," humanity came from somewhere there in the 
Universe.  They have different views on how humanity got to the planet...

The 'planet-earth', is kind of a 'hidden away zone' basically, is what they
say, with all kinds of different things going on here.  A lot of unnatural-
things also.

But there isn't anything unnatural about where I'm at right now, this is all
natural, this is all real and natural, it's not manipulated in any way, it
hasn't been produced on a production-line somewhere.

It's all natural, it runs by itself, perpetual-energy kind of thing; this
natural part of it all.

And I think that the human-species itself is that way.  That's why it needs
to be out in this kind of nature.

You know, there's a lot of different idiosyncrasies, or maybe not idiosyncrasies,
but sterotypes when it comes to this naturalist thing.  There are all kinds of
different types of Naturalist, and they have all kinds of different views on
everything.  So there's a little bit of...

I think you could find a lot of contradictions in a lot of things we hear
about the natural-world.

...I think I'll pause here to see how long the tape is...ya there's still a
little bit on it.  Like I said, "you can listen to this tape, and don't expect
to hear a whole-bunch, but one thing you can expect to have is, that it's 
being recorded out here in the middle of the night, sitting next to a fire-ring
that's burning, and the stars are above..."

And hopefully some of this energy will find its way into you, into whoever listens;
into your heart, into your soul, into your spirit...

Maybe it will help it be happy, feel good, and if your mind drifts off as you
listen to this, realize that your not the only one, mine does too!  And at the
same time it's good...that's what it's supposed to do.  You just sort of move
along, just sort of let it go through you and I'm sure you'll get some good
vibes out of it.

Ya, it's really something when I look...I'm looking here into the 'west',
the western horizon tonight at this time of the year here is really filled
with stars!  They are all over the place.  I never realized there were so
many; usually when I look at an Astronomy book, I don't see all this stuff.

I'm running low on this side of the tape, so it will probably run out, it's
dark here so I can't tell, I can't pause it exactly; so we'll just let it run
out and flip over to the next side when it happens.  So if it takes place in
the middle of a conversation, understand that's what's coming up here.

Just had another cup of coffee, it's nice to make my coffee in an old camp-
kettle next to the fire; just pour the coffee-grounds into the water and let
it cook; just like the old-cowboy's use to do or probably still do.  It's
surprising how good a cup of coffee tastes when your out here; and this fresh
air, god the air is/was really sweet today, 'autumn smell', all the different
types of flowers...all kinds of different things, smells.

Just like...I mean, it's better than the perfume that you smell from different
individuals that have it on, I mean this stuff here (wilderness air) is really
nice.  Nice clear-clean air...

[And here ends side 1, of tape 1]


[Next side-2; note: text is yet to be proof read]

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